You might not remember this part of you, you might not want to acknowledge your past fragility. But hey! here I am or better said, here I was all this time. You might be living your dream somewhere in this big world or you might be wounded to death, hiding under layers of silence as you gave up on all humanity. Or you might have accepted that being plain is not bad at all and forgot all about our messy past and the pieces of your once broken heart.
Wherever you are, whatever you do, whomever you're with when you read this, just in case you come across this one day, I want to share with you this life philosophy that's stuck in my head for now (I'm putting it down 'cause I know I will forget it as soon as I go to bed):
- Be someone's friend - befriend someone and be his or her friend even after midnight. Don't judge, don't hold a grudge, don't frown, don't wish they didn't exist. Help them if you can, be their best friend, give them courage, give them strength even if one day they could walk away. Just be their friend over a cup of tea, over the phone, in writing. Bear them in mind and heart and show them warmth. People are and will be people - always in need of company, always in need of warmth. Give a lil' of your light to a blind person and you'll walk around with a lighter heart.
- Pet a dog or a cat. It soothes the heart, it makes you feel loved even for a little while. Animals don't hate, they don't hold grudges and are grateful for every touch, for every word, for every minute you give them.
- Love. With all your heart, with all your soul. I know you've been brokenhearted before, I know it hurts when he leaves. But even so, love with all your might, give your best, be caring and bright, be supportive and attentive to the other's needs, show appreciation and respect. I doubt it will be left unrewarded. And even if it is, later on, when you'll be really old and cranky, you won't regret it. You'd have made someone feel special and loved even for a little while. It won't matter you weren't considered good enough, that you weren't the one, that you weren't perfect - 'cause even for a lil' while, you have made someone happy.
- Sing along with your favourite songs. It doesn't matter you don't have a good voice or that you're making a total fool out of you. It doesn't matter you don't know the lyrics or the language. Hum along, dance with the beat, feel the music pour through all your pores, through your cells.
- Don't be afraid of who you are, of what you think, of what you like. Life's too short for that!
- Don't hurt others just for the sake of being a voice. In the end, it won't matter if you're remembered through the centuries if you'd be regretting it all your life or feel guilty. It's not worth the burden, trust me.
- Don't hold grudges. Let it go, let it go, just let it go. If you stop caring about the past, the future will be easier to see and build. If they did you wrong, just forget it. If they hurt you in ways no one can understand your aching scars, if they left you bleeding without an explanation - it's alright. It's just fine. They went their way, you got your own path. And when your paths will cross again, there will be enough space for "Hello.".
- Be a good daughter even when your mom is no longer what you recalled her to be. Be supportive of her, be there with a nice word, be there to remind her that she'll never be alone and that no matter what, she has you.
- Be a good mother. Be the mother your mother was: your children's best friend, their playmate, their protector, their teacher, their guiding light. Be attentive to their needs, to their fears, to their life philosophy. Don't be afraid to share your past with them, don't be afraid to scold them gently, don't be afraid of letting them be free in world where there they will be judged according to appearance, wealth, gadgets or what else. Their happiness is yours.
- Be a good wife. Be a good life partner. Be supportive of his dreams, support him on his way, be there when he needs you, be his comforting silence, be his painkiller when he's in terrible pain. Listen well and think twice before saying something that you might regret later. Remember what you promised to yourself when you were younger and never let the other one behind in pain or anger. Talk your problems out, figure a way together, don't be silly and stubborn when it's not the case. Don't cause unnecessary pain to your partner. Don't be selfish - be selfless. And if he hurts you, be sincere and tell him. If he steps on your heart, try to talk things out. If it just doesn't work, part as friends. Don't cause unnecessary pain one to another. And don't be afraid of telling him you love him - you never know what can happen by the end of the day. Don't be just his partner and lover. Be his friend.
Ten rules for an easier life - no, scratch that, rules for a happier life! And not rules, but just reminders on how to be a better person, on how to live with no regrets, on how to be everything you once promised yourself you'd be one day: a better human, a better person, a better you.
And if you are all these out there, then I am happy to have lived through the pain and misery, through the hardship and broken hearts. If you're leading a life like you dreamt, then I regret nothing and I am genuinely happy for you and those around you.
But don't forget the most important rule of them all, the golden one if I may say so: be yourself no matter what. The bright person your friends saw, the romantic one, the childish one, the silly one. Don't let the darkness you fear consume your bright light! You are the sun of your own universe! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
With love,
A Friend from the Past
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