The Most Beautiful Smile

The most beautiful smile is the one you're wearing each day, the one that shines brightly in your eyes, the one that you're showing to everybody but me, because you have a special one for me, one that makes you shine like a little diamond exposed to the sunlight.

The most beautiful smile is that of a broken heart that is still insecure, still scared, still trying to glue itself back together, but still working hard to have confidence and restore its trust in humanity.

The most beautiful smile is the one that you show after you wake up, messing your bed hair and looking like a five year old kid while hugging the pillow, stretching your hands towards the cold part of the bedsheet, 'cause you know exactly where you'll find me.

The most beautiful smile is the one that you try to suppress because eyes are watching and you should look tough and powerful like a mighty god, when in fact everything is just a lame show they put up for you.

The most beautiful smile is the one that blooms on your lips when you pick up the phone, using fake names and random place names to confuse those you eavesdrop on your conversation.

The most beautiful smile is that filled with the sadness of teary eyes, the one that appears when arms wrap around your shoulders, protective, promising never to let go and never to abandon you despite the stormy weather. You're a man, a powerful human being, you cannot bend, you cannot break down - and yet there's this one person that has seen your tears and have taken them away with gentle fingers and lips, until a small, shy smile appears in the corners of your lips.

The most beautiful smile is that of a love confession you never planned and yet escaped your lips, shocking the audience, making your heart pound heavily inside your chest.

The most beautiful smile is that when you close your eyes under the sunlight, feeling the warmth against your pale skin, trying to catch in invisible pictures all those fuzzy feelings that cuddle inside your chest.

The most beautiful smile is the one you show when you're by your own, sneaking out of the bed in the middle of the bed just to take a bite of that round and delicious-looking pie in the fridge, the one that appears when your taste buds are on cloud nine, the one that guiltily shines when you're caught red handed.

The most beautiful smile appears when you know your working hours are over and you can hurry back home, when you can throw off the tight suit and put on an extra large t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants, when you can just wrap your arm around my waist and stay like that seconds that turn into minutes and minutes that turn into hours, 'cause you were too tired to wait for the goodnight kiss.

But the most beautiful, shining smile is the one that appears whenever I call your name. It illuminates your whole being, it warms up your cheeks, it travels to the soul, making it shine through those beautiful, brown and kind eyes of yours. It makes your rush your fingers through your hair and bite your lower lip as the corners of your mouth remain up, twirled in the most beautiful and boyish smile I saw on your lips.

So, wherever you are now, I want you to know that you have the most beautiful smile in the whole world. 

Precious, brilliant smile, come back home, alright? I'll be waiting right here.

I love you.

Beautiful Life

Lime green.

Deep, sky blue.

A pair of flats.

Shorts.

A stained t-shirt.

And ice-cream.

You're sitting one arm away from me, looking up at the sky, probably wishing to be on one of those white planes that leave a white trail behind them as they mark the sky with whitish towards gray stripes. And you wish you would be there while I wish I'd just be closer to you. So close that I would get to hear your heart beat, so close that I would feel your perfume invading my lungs, so close that you would have to look down to look into my eyes, 'cause you're just as tall as I imagined.

I was always the black cat with a naughty desire to change the world, to make them all see the sky before the night ends.

You on the other side, were the white dove, the messenger of peace, the one that brought hope above the doomed ones, while I was the curse, the one with the bad luck. But I wished for you, you know? I wished to have you between my paws, to touch your feathers and feel their softness, to understand the reason you love blue while I love green, to see your green eyes with my blue ones, to touch the bare skin of your soles and follow in your footsteps before the water washed them away, finding your trail from me.

I was the daring one while you always hid behind your solitude. But maybe I was too damn green to understand your blues, so I just went ahead and hugged you from behind, burying my nose in your white shirt, sniffing your skin through its texture. Talking about being shameless!

Oh dear, love is out and calling your name, can't you hear it?

Despite me being still wishful that one day you'd stretch your arm and let me join you as your black soulmate, the one that has been wandering around for too long, it's such a sad situation that I got you to chase after, my life is still beautiful. 'Cause I'm in love with you and it's something permanent, something that cannot be damaged by time, distance, broken promises or forgotten vows.

I love deep sky blue.

You seem to have a thing for lime green.

We're both young and amazingly steady on this rotating ground.

Ice-cream.

Two pair of shoes.

The cat and the white dove...

Can Somebody Save Me Now?

I'm foolishly wear this rag of smile every day. 
Each day.
Even if I'm mad, it's easy to change my mood and pretend I'm happy if I put it up. It's like an old t-shirt that has holes in the fabric, revealing bits of the skin that finds underneath it. But even if it's old, it's comfortable enough for you to prefer it to the fancy lace and silk gown that lies still new in your closet. It's like an old bike that you keep using, despite the tire being flat. You prefer pumping some air in than go buy a new one.
I'm stupid enough to wear it every day, in front of everyone. I don't frown if there's someone around. You might catch me frowning at a book I'm reading and even that is pretty rarely coming from me. I don't cry in front of people. I just... put on a smile and swallow my tears for later, for a bathroom or a dark room with drawn curtains and music filling the stiff air.
I wear a smile every day ever since someone said my sad face is depressing to see every single day. I guess a smiling one is easier to stand and have around, right?
But if my sadness used to once be on my lips, I'm afraid it has gone to my eyes. It wasn't there before. My eyes were normal, plain brown eyes, sparkling or dry, always looking straight in the eyes of the person in front. But now they're dull, soulless eyes staring at the shoes. Always at the shoes. Because if I raise them and look someone in the eyes, I'm afraid I might scare them away. 
For who would love a girl with sad eyes?
So I wear this rag of a smile every single day, holding tight on it and hoping that it will last till the night sets over my bed and I close my eyes, that it won't break down and reveal my true self in front of the whole world.
For who would love a girl with sad lips?
This smile is everything I have, the only thing I held dear for seven years now. And even when my dears one passed away, even when I was hurt, when I was in pain, when I was unable to speak or move, when I cried because of a sad, tragic movie, when I suffered for a poor being being abused, that smile was still there, in the corners of my lips, invisible to the others like Harry Potter's invisible cloak. Only I knew about it and it protected me from the outside world.
For who would love a sad girl?
But I feel the smile fading away, slowly coming off my face like a muddy mask in contact with water or like show under the bright sun. What would I do without it to protect me? What will I be without it around to keep me safe? What would I look like without it?
My smile, the only friend that knew my secret, the only one that read my heart like an open book, this smile is fading away.
Can't you save me?

"It's a cold, cold world out there

Sometimes I feel like nobody cares

I'm down, down, down

Can somebody save me?"

Nothing Lasts Forever

Who are you?

Who am I?

Who are we and most importantly, what the fuck are we exactly?! 'Cause one thing is for sure: I'm sick and tired of this waiting, of this game you play, of this fucking situation! 

Are you a man of some other kind of strange animal with enhanced breathing and a beating heart in a tin chest?!

Are you some kind of breathing humanoid or a real person, not only a status and a green dot that shows you're online whenever I dare to turn on my PC?!

If yes, move your fucking ass right here and tell me something in person! I'm tired of talking through million of open windows, tired of refreshing the page every two minutes in case you decided to finally press Enter and sent those monosyllabic answers of yours, tired of searching you on the online page, tired of waiting for you to finally grow a pair and tell me something without me pushing you from behind.

Really now, darling, what exactly are you? Please find some time to explain this to me, 'cause I'd be damned if I understand!

You're not my only friend, I hope you know that. So don't act so fucking cold with me, giving me the cold shoulder just to gain more attention, 'cause it won't work! You're just a pinch of salt when I have the fucking Almighty Mount of Salt. You're annoying the crap out of me, you know that?! No, I do love you and all, I do like to see you from time to time, to eat your ice-cream and then give you the innocent face you hate so badly, to pour water on your face while you're still away in your Dreamland. I do love how we waste time counting stars, naming butterflies, thinking of winter and crying for summer with the first snow. I freakin' adore the way you snore and grind your teeth, the way you throw pillows at me from across the room, the way you serenade me with your childish and flowery guitar, the way you hate pink to guts, the way you pick fights for every stupid thing I do only to pinch my cheeks until they turn bright red.

I do, I do. 

But then you have those mood swings and I find you crying at night or you suddenly leave the chat room,

making me wonder if you're still 100% sane or half of you is already put down by the shrink.

I still remember that one night when you showed me your wrist and told me you'd love to see it cut open. Are those blue threads really that interesting to you? 'Cause here, take a good look at mines and then give them back to me! I've been there, alright? I've done all that and I'm not ashamed. I was THIS fucking close from never coming back again. And it was you who shook me back to live with those stupid and annoying as a bitch noises of you continuously hitting the Enter key. I still remember yelling at you "Are you fucking crazy or what?! Someone's trying to have a good death here, you know?!" And you simply turned on your web camera and showed me that insanely pink stuffed toy "Look what I brought for you!". Really, it took me two days and a half, two planes, hitchhiking from Toulouse to Paris, a bus and a couple of steps to knock you off your chair with just one hit and burn that Goddamn pink toy. Really now, I haven't seen something as ugly as that!

But summer's gone and look at me feeling all unsure and uneasy for some odd reason. It's no longer how it used to be. I can feel it. You're too hot to handle with your leather jacket and black eyeliner you started wearing for all the stupid and foolish reasons in the whole world, no shirt to cover you white skin (really, you should try your my foundation or something from now and then), while I on the other side am pitiful like a wet dog that's waiting for the master that has abandoned him. You're like a hot biker that gets all the girls, while I'm the awkward nerd who never get any attention (nerd, not wallflower, dumbass!). You're a genius that words with facts and numbers while I'm the stupid editor that uses words that can't really reach your words. And as much as I wish I could get into your world, that I could speak 1-4-3, it's like trying to have a SRS when I'm not that sure I can be a male with all this feminine thoughts swarming inside my head.

Summer was our season.

Summer is our one and only season, right? And now, like trees and flowers, we're fucking withering under the autumnal sun.

What a shame, darling, what a shame, really! I even pulled my nuts in the spotlight to tell you I like you and now it's over? So, I'm asking you: who the fuck are you and what the fuck are we at this very point? 'Cause I think I'm getting sexually frustrated while waiting for you to open your eyes and see that I haven't got a boyfriend because of you, that I changed my hair style because of you, that I'm wearing a sugar plum eyeliner with all those dazzling sparkly sparks that make my eyes sting whenever I get out of the house, that I'm actually shaving my legs so that I won't look like freakin' King Kong in front of you.

Well, now that you're no longer online, I hope you go to Hell and stay there until I change my mind! Which will be, let me check my agenda for a sec, NEVER!

It's too bad that I have to vent myself like this just because you're a freakin' introvert when it comes to using real words and not stupid emoticons. But you talked to me all summer, didn't you? And in the end, nothing last forever, isn't that so? I think that's what GD taught us recently... whatever! Maybe once spring will met your icy heart you'll come to realize that we were made for each other. Until then, I'll just have to lock my sexy ass and face away like Rapunzel locked her golden hair in a tower... talking of women's problem, at least keep your Captain Winky in his ship, alright? Don't let him enter strange lagoons or dark caves or I'll hunt him down with a butcher's knife, ok? Alright! Glad to have that straight!

And despite you being my favourite person in the whole world, dude,

Realization

It was a normal Sunday and I was normally browsing around the Internet, looking for some way to entertain myself. Only that with the corner of my eye, I spotted your digital picture resting on the desk.

I have to admit that I stared at it for quite a while. Yeah, embarrassing, I know, I know. But I didn't knew what else to do since my hands had stopped and were just resting on my knees. And where else could have I looked? The other way? Out the window? At the screen displaying thousands of pictures in front of me? Could have I looked anywhere else when you were there, when your smile was there, present like this heart that beats inside my chest?

No.

So I took my time to analyze your face, the shape of it, the traits, the small spots from an old acne burst, the eyes, the bridge of the nose that's a little bulbous towards the tip, the lips - oh, so kissable lips!, all pink and soft, the stubborn chin. And I wondered: "Why do I like/ kind of love him anyway?". Answer? There's no real answer that wouldn't sound like a lie or a cheesy, stupid thing a girl in love would say. Maybe I like you because you're so fluffy, that you're stubborn and snap easily. Or maybe it's because when you smile you show around 24 teeth... or maybe it's because you have cute ears. Or maybe it's the lips that make me smile when I think of you. It couldn't be your strange personality, your multi-talented hands or the over-confident attitude you make me put up with every single day, even in my dreams. 

People told me to stop dreaming - you're not real. And yet there you are, flesh and bones, heart and blood, smiles and laughter, frowns and glares - you're there.

People told me that my love is admirable. But they couldn't be more wrong. I do love you. I love you from the bottom of my heart even though I do not say it the way you're supposed to hear it. I love you so much that if love was fuel, I'd be able to go around the world and never run out of it. I love you so freakin' much that it kind of hurts at times when I realize just how silly I am when the night comes... But they are all wrong, my love ain't admirable at all. It's kind of an old cliché as I don't really know what to do with my love, actually. I could fuel some other fire, I could pretend to love some other guy and secretly think of you. I could watch you closely and never approach you. It's the bad kind of love, the poisonous one, the one it incapable of turning into hate and is everlasting. It's the one you meet only in fairytales... My love is scary.

Someone told me never give up on what I am and what I hold dear. Again, a cliché wish of them to be like me, of them to live with what I feel. But if they knew, if they could feel it even for a second, they would see how close to bursting my heart is, how difficult is to actually breathe, knowing you won't be really there... ever. Not ever.

But a dreamer lives for her dreams, even when they pull her underwater. I am drowning each day and I never stopped to actually wonder if it's worth keeping a love like the one I have for you. You'll never hear me, never will you lay your eyes on the unappealing me. This is the realization that made me fight the high waters invading my lungs, that made me actually wish for the shore to be closer to my tired hands. Dear, I'm tired of swimming and I don't want to drown. I'm tired of gulping salty water, of fearing what circles me. I'm tired of fighting with the tide, with the currents and the waves. But then again, I won't go down without a fight! I will not drown in this... this... this love! For if I do close my eyes, you're there. And once you're around, I will never ever be able to leave your imaginary side.

I don't want to be crazy.

I swear it was a normal Sunday and that I was normally staring at your photo.

But you're so far away and permanently surrounded by people that care for you, that shower you with their love for you, for what you are and what you mean that it's actually kind of painful for me to watch. So, since my love is no longer useful (was it ever, useful?) I'd like to have it back now, please. Give me back my heart and all my dreams, 'cause I think I have a jar of broken dreams hidden somewhere under the bed and this one will act like seal. And I will never ever talk about you again, never ever remember you, never ever trust this beating heart of mine that seems to be malfunctioning...

It was a normal Sunday when the normal realization was born in my mind: it's time to let you go 'cause you have no use of me anymore. You've got your friends, you've got millions of others willing to give their hearts to you. I don't want to be a bleeding heart in the crowd. So today, I take my heart back to mend it, to make it work in sync with the brain. 

It was a normal Sunday and I was dreaming of running away with your love, lock myself in a rocket and fly to the moon, never to return...

G-Dragon "Coup D'État" Album Review

This review reflects personal opinions and not that of a professional!

Also, I won’t be reviewing all the tracks, but the ones that really drew my attention from this new album!

Personal rating: 4/5

The impression: This album is a little more personal than the one released last year, that’s for sure. Starting from the very title of the album, “Coup D’État”, the album is indeed some sort of ‘revolutionary’ movement. Personally, I haven’t seen k-pop groups/artists using French titles for their albums, title that would make a sense when put together with the whole concept of the album, that is, so its correct use and subtle reference definitely impressed me.

Also, I liked a lot the album cover because it’s like a return to simplicity. Somewhere in the ’60, the hippie movement brought the peace sign, the flowers and all the other things that they called ‘the revolution’. Now, I’m not saying G-Dragon is a hippie or anything like that, just that the covers of his album-in-two-parts reminded me of that movement. ‘Cause to some extend, he as well, as a public person and performer, composer and producer, is a revolution from what we visualize and expect when we hear the word ‘k-pop’.

Overall, the album is a back-and-forth swing between Kwon Ji Yong, the person no one knows apart from close friends/family and G-Dragon, the idol/performer/fashion icon/cool dude the fans fawn over like flies, thing that I like. Finally, someone is stepping out of the comfort zone.

The tracks:

01. ‘Coup D’État’ – This is definitely the beginning of G-Dragon’s ‘revolutionary movement’ if I can call it this way. The song itself is more of a self praise if we are to look at the lyrics and somehow doesn't really match the overly symbolized MV he released together with the first part of the album. But I won’t go there to analyze the MV frame by frame, ‘cause that has already been done, so no need of that now. I will though analyze the song a bit.

For a non-Korean, the song might have no meaning in some points as G-Dragon decided to use some references to Korean related facts (but thanks Lord, there’s Internet!): a commercial, a bug spray and a historical figure. Put together like this, they might not have any sense at all, but even so, they’re hints to the power and fame that seem to label G-Dragon: he’s like a commercial that everyone sees on TV, determining people to buy certain products, but at the same time he’s like a bug spray that ‘kills’ the small and powerless and in the end, he’s just as cool, popular and busy as Hong Gil Dong, the Korean version of Robin Hood.

But even if it sounds like a self praise, G-Dragon points out some things that come along with the fame or with the wish of being famous: a hectic life, a continuous attempt to reinvent oneself, the impossibility to be ‘ordinary’, being called names because of the shallowness that is perceived from the outside.

I believe G-Dragon is inviting people to see the revolution as in to see that there is more to an artist than we see on television.

03. ‘R.O.D (ft. Lydia Paek)’ – ‘Ride Or Die’ is, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful love confession I ever listened to. Why? Because G-Dragon isn't G-Dragon in this song, but Kwon Ji Yong, the person that is true to his heart and does not fear to show the world that he is in love, that he is after all, just a man like so many others.

This is the first movement of the pendulum motion I was talking before starting the review.

As a confession, it’s one to die for. To listen to it and cry. To listen to it and smile. To listen to it and see the the summer sun and a red convertible Jeep on a beach. To listen to it and sense the man that Kwon Ji Yong is underneath the swag. To listen to it and regret the pressure he is put under.

As a song, it’s a fresh track, with summer-ish echoes. I really like the electric/ dub-step sounds thrown in the song, as well as the choir-like voices that can be heard during the chorus. Also, I think Lydia Paek was a great choice as the girl’s voice. She’s definitely making the cut, matching his rap-confession with her feminine vocals. It’s definitely a plus for the song, making it more memorable!

Now, a personal note: I don’t know what’s going on in Kwon Ji Yong’s life (I don’t really want to know, either) and I definitely don’t want to go presuming that he’s in love or he recently broke up with or that he can’t be with the one he loves because of the media that would crazily follow him around, but this track made me want to fall in love or witness a love like the character he has in the song feels. So, I’m thankful to Ji Yong that composed and produced this track and to G-Dragon that sang this J

04. ‘Black (Ft. Jennie Kim)’ – Even if she will never make a debut, Jennie Kim will be a killer though the featuring songs she has with G-Dragon. I really, really like her voice. It’s incredibly well balanced and gives a nice vibe to the song. She sounds a little less cold than Lee Hi, but has the same laziness lingering in her tonality, thing that I totally like.

Listening to ‘Black’ right after ‘R.O.D’ is like pouring icy cold water on the body after sitting in the sun for an hour or so. It’s making you sulk with it’s beautiful melodramatic sound and even if you don’t get the meaning of the lyrics, you still get the sorrowful message behind them.

Here, the pendulum swings between G-Dragon and Kwon Ji Yong. Maybe it’s Ji Yong looking at the things G-Dragon loses because of being who he is? I perceive this like a mirrored conversation between the man he is and the persona he uses on stage.

I like the simplicity of the instrumental used. It’s completing the gloomy atmosphere of the song and matches the cool rap of GD.

The song itself is like a autumnal rainy day.

05. ‘Who You?’ -  And we’re back to Kwon Ji Yong! The man he is is back in the picture, leaving behind the performer and talking from the bottom of his heart once again.

I have to say that I loved the track from the very moment it started playing in my handsets. The beat, the piano, the mild electric guitar, the battery, the playfulness of his voice, the way he sings, the cute rap, the English, everything is just a mixture of lively and warm hearted feelings I never felt before in GD’s classic tracks or even in Big Bang’s hits.

This track reveals the playful part of Ji Yong and finally, a break-up song ain't so melo and sad, put more of a fun type of story, a story he tells while admitting he wants his girl back. Just, awww!

It’s impossible not to smile while listening to this song or letting your imagination run wild and picture him either in Boston, San Francisco or Seattle. It makes you forget that he who sings is a man of people, of huge crowds that chant with him, that clap their hands. Instead you see this neighbor look-like boy who chases after the girl he regrets losing with a whole street performers following him around. Crazy, huh?

06. ‘Shake the World’ – Definitely an interesting way of opening the second part of the album. Broadly, the song it’s some kind of continuation for ‘Coup D’État’ since G-Dragon is back taking all about his swag and originality. Again, talking about GD’s record as an artist/composer/performer, the way his rap is back in the charts, making them shake anyone from the first positions and placing himself there.

I think this is the real intro of the whole album, if we were to look at all the tracks of the album-in-two-parts. He’s announcing his comeback proudly, talking about his music, his fans, the way he was prepared for this ‘since he was born’.

What I like is the reference to ‘Arirang’ the Korean folk song we can hear in two verses, the way he admits that k-pop’s roots are found in those type of songs and have evolved according to the times we live in.

As a side note, I think GD hates questions related to producing and composing. It’s just a feeling I got after reading the lyrics: “This isn't musical education, but they ask questions to get answers they want to hear”. Oh, and this is the second time I hear this: “Music is just music” in two months. He and Junhyung of Beast have included it both in the intros to their albums. Interesting, don’t you think?

08. ‘Crooked’ – The title doesn't go for the literal sense of the word ‘crooked’ but for the slang one, meaning ‘dishonest’. But despite being entitled ‘dishonest’, the song does nothing but speaking the truth from the beginning to the very end of it.

I didn't expect it to like it, but I do like it. It’s just like ‘Black’: we find both pieces of GD and Kwon Ji Yong in the lyrics. It’s more of GD in the MV, but I think it’s Ji Yong’s voice that speaks up, get what I mean? I swear this sounds better in my head!

The song is as crazy as the lyrics – I like it! I like the fun and funky feeling, the feeling of being forwarded from one part of the song to other while we move in slow-motion. His voice is really nice and the rap makes it even more interesting for the ears to hear.

In talks of love, I have to say this, this man is a loser! He gets the girl in just two tracks from twelve. I mean, c’mon man, you can do better, right?

Anyway, the song speaks the truth – “Nothing ever lasts forever”. Not even love, as he discovered. Apparently, the girl he lost was scared of his GD face, the cool part of him, the popularity of his name and face. But as much as the break-up hurt him, he’s not the childish guy from ‘Who You?’, so he understands the situation pretty well. Nice!

One thing I really, really like about the MV: it shows the mess and craziness in his head, the pain that makes him go round and round, picking fights where there’s none. Way to go!

10. ‘Runaway’ – This song is soooo having two meanings! The pendulum is stuck in the middle so we have both GD and Ji Yong here. Interesting!

But, let’s talk about the song in general for a bit. It’s definitely a never heard mixture of sounds, instruments and vocals. Again, I have to admit just how much I like it! I like that although it’s rapping most of the time, he makes it so that at the end of the verse, you forget that it’s supposed to be rap as it sounds more like the main vocalist. Another thing I like about this song: I get to hear GD’s high notes I never heard before. I wonder where he hid them till now… Oh, and there’s this electric guitar part that it’s totally making you fall for the song and want to put it on repeat. Genius! And the ‘Yahoo-hoo-hoo’ parts – to die for! J

So, going for the lyrics now, there’s two possibilities I see here:

1. The lyrics are meant for his fans, for those who say that scream their love confession to him during concerts and events. If it’s this one, then their love is making him uncomfortable. And it’s not that he hates those fans, he actually confesses that he misses them sometimes (thus the combination between GD and Ji Yong), but he feels better without them around. It’s like a way to tell them that they should back off a little…
2. The lyrics are meant for a girl. Like, duh! Here, GD leaves and we can hear Ji Yong once again. A spin-off for ‘Who You?’? Possible. Anyway, this man is incredibly bitchy in this song, as he practically behaves like the male version of a chick with obsessive-compulsive admirers stalking her.

Absolutely love the song and the fact that as he begs through all the song for a way to escape, at the end we can really him escape in that ‘fast car with fast wings’ J

11. ‘I Love It (ft. Zion T & Boys Noize)’ – This song is so… so… sooo… how to call it? It highlights the perverted mind of a man, you know? The way they check out chicks and all? Of course, this one is really cool and fancy, in a non-pornographic way, but still perverted. What can I say? It totally won me over!

I love the beat, the instrumental, the lyrics, the vocals, the rap, everything! And what I like the most about it it’s the way it takes me back in the ’90 with the vocals of Zion.T and the rhythm. I don’t know what Boys Noize did, maybe they took part in the producing part, but Zion.T definitely makes himself noticed during the chorus.

Oh, I take back what I said before: GD doesn't get the girl now. He’s just wishing for it, while watching the girl from a distance. It’s pitifully cute if it were to think he’s watching from afar. But even so, it’s a nice song to listen to. It doesn't make you want to dance around like ‘R.O.D’, ‘Who You?’ or ‘Crooked’, but even so, I still shook some parts of my body while writing this review and listening to the track J

Overall: The album is totally enjoyable and definitely more accessible than “One Of a Kind” as sounds and lyrics, feelings and rhythms. It’s one of those albums made to be performed live, that makes it accessible both for the artist and the public.

I like it since it’s both an evolution and a revolution of G-Dragon as both person and artist. He brought new sounds and feelings in the public attention through this album and he definitely delineates Kwon Ji Yong from G-Dragon and that’s really admirable of him, you know?

But even if I liked it, you probably saw that this album didn't manage to score perfect 5 stars from me. The reason why I deducted a full point is that, although GD really evolved a composer and artist through “Coup D’État”, he went too much on Western sounds. Some tracks from this album sound way too much like American pop, the only difference being the language and personal involvement of GD in the making of the album. I really don’t want him to sound like the American artists since that would mean him losing the colours I like and transforming k-pop into something that it’s not. Really, if I wanted to listen to American pop, I would have listened to Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez, Lady Gaga and the other famous artists from the US. G-Dragon has his own unique colours and he doesn't need to go Western in order to gain more fans/keep his fans/earn money. For example, although they rocked the stage together and the fans really seemed to enjoy the performance, I pretty much dislike the track featuring Miss Eliot, “Naliria”. Just… not my cup of tea since the rap was no longer the Korean one, but the American one translated into Korean, if you get what I mean.

So, as much as I hate to say this, the ‘westernizing’ of his album made me deduct the point L

Black (Heavy Sleep)

You turn off the light and close your eyes, preparing to drift to sleep. But the silence around you does not show mercy for your ears and so you hear the world spinning: a branch touches the closed window lightly, a night bird spreads her wings not that far away, the rustling of your feet under the covers, the nails scratching the skin of the left hand, the heart beating steadily inside the chest.

You hear everything.

And everything hears you.

So you open your eyes and darkness welcomes you with open arms. It's so dark, that you can't even see the stretched arms in front of you. You struggle to catch the glimpse of the illuminated window, but apparently an even darker hole opens in the place of the well known glass. And that darkness has black eyes that follow your every move.

You can't breathe as the darkness tightens its grip around your body. You feel your skull throbbing in a futile attempt of the brain to shake you awake or to dismiss the thought of blindness, the eyes moving from right to left, trying so hard to catch at least a sparkle of white in all that suffocating black.

And the suffocating feeling that you're shrinking in your own bed, the world you knew becoming thrice its size around you. You can't see - that's a fact. So you get up from your bed and you know that what you touch with your soles it's just the red carpet, but it's just a habit of what your eyes used to see every morning and evening. Then, on the right, your fingers hit something hard - the small desk where the phone lies. The gadget does not respond to the command and the screen does not show its light when pressed.

You're running blind...

In the darkness that follows, your fingers leave a invisible trail on the wall of the long and narrow corridor. You know where the switchers are, but you can't see their flickering leds, burning red in the darkness.

On.

Off.

On.

Off.

You hear the switcher, you can definitely feel the bulb's light falling on your cheek, but you can't see it. The darkness is just like a Black Hole, sucking you in more and more, till there's nothing left of your soul, till the warm body of yours remains just a shallow shell of warm flesh and red fluids.

Darkness - unimaginably solid and warm.

You can hear everything.

And everything can hear you.

You nails scratch the skin around the temple, the fingertips run on the skin under the eyes, pressing it towards the inside until you feel it giving in to the pressure. Your nails slip inside the small openings and curve upwards, pushing the eyeballs out of the orbits.

Yes, it hurts to feel the flesh severing the muscles, to feel the fibers of your body protesting against the stupidity of your act.

Yes, it hurts to feel the blood gushing out of the holes that remain behind, to feel the wind howling inside them as you hold on the two wet and sticky balls that used to grant you vision way back before.

Yes, it hurts - the darkness, the holes on your face, everything hurts!

But it hurts less to know that the permanent darkness is brought by permanent damages than being the same phobia haunting you over and over again...

You and Me, Against the World

I'm so fucking mad right now.

I'm so fucking, incredibly mad right now that it's actually a miracle the keyboard is still intact!

You.

You.

You.

And you.

And you glass wall.

And your blank expression.

And your fucking mood swings that make me wanna flip a table like in the those movies for chicks I had you watch.

I hate you. I hate you so much right now, that just seeing you online in my list makes me wanna pass my hand through the screen and punch some Goddamn good sense into you!

You said you liked my confession, that the words were just right for you to perfectly understand my point. And then you went 'hey-na-na-na!' to heck knows where and my online list was like the Wild West with dust piling on it like on grandma's panties. I didn't even get the chance to bit my farewell or curse you so that your left foot become right and you turn into a complete idiot with boogers hanging from your nose tip. I didn't even get to press sent to my message 'cause the power was shut and when I finally got to flip my bird at the screen, you were gone.

Gone you were and the status of your profile sounded something like: "Gone to Hell.". Well, have a safe trip and make sure you don't get some Captain Winky hooks stuck in your ass, you brick head!

I hate you so much right now that I feel like Pikachu after being completely charged. I hate you so much that this Pikachu can't evolve to Raichu anymore. 

I hate you, I really do! I had to cover so many fields in Chemistry just to have the balls to say all those things to you and you were just a chill hippie, smiling like an idiot behind your wall of glass.

And then you appear. PUF! Like a fucking magical mushroom or something, you're back on top of my online list. Speaking of the cherry on top of the cake, what's up with the status, you odd creature?

"Since when they're no longer selling stellar dust at the shop from the corner of the street?! Gosh, I feel old..."

What kind of sorcery is this?! What hit you in the head?! 'Cause you make me remember the odd times when you came back and handed me an empty jar: "100% golden stellar dust," you smiled like a freak, "trust me, I'm the best at this." And I believed you. How could have I not when you were wearing that rag of a smile on your unshaved face that looked like it had been slapped by a bear or something? How could I not be happy when you were like the last brownie on the plate that I got to eat when no one was looking?

I trusted you.

And now you're back with that unoriginal pick-up line and somehow it doesn't feel right like before. It's... like a cloudy sky during a sunny summer, like a green apple when all the others are a perfect yellow or red. It's like you without a profile pic of some random chick so that no one bothers you, like me without the headsets on and singing out loud. It's like you not flying to see me on my birthday, like me not throwing cubes of ice at you during the summer.

It's odd and completely freaky.

Have you lost yourself? Has the world finally got to your brain and smacked your dreams from behind? Have you turned blind from all the light of the flashlight I forgot under your bed? Have you gone and saw the bad of the world we both ran away from? Have you been hurt during your trip? Have you suffered in thirst or hunger with no one by your side?

Man, this is really unfair, you know?! I was supposed to be completely mad at you and ignore you for the rest of my life, but there you are, sulking on your chair with some food on the desk you haven't touched yet. It's a heartbreaking scenery, really now!

Wait, wait for it, ok, now I've done it:

I'm running to you, to your side, can you see me? Will you stop being sad now, please?! I even put on my special effects and this cape, only to make you snap out of the trace and become the you I know you are. 

I am SuperKat and I'm running to be your saviour 'cause I know the world is bad, that it's unfair, unjust, totally fucking you up from behind. I know that, trust me. I know it's painful when they step on your dreams, when they no longer sell stellar dust at the corner of the street, when the umbrellas are no longer red and yellow but a mild green, when all the others have grown up and no longer understand your gibberish. I know. But that's why I'm here, isn't it?

'Cause what would I be without you if not an odd missing pair of an even stranger duet? What would the summers be without us cooling inside with icy water drank directly from bottle 'cause we're that baddass? What would the evenings be without our usual quarrels over who gets to shut the PC first? What would the nights be without the sky above for us both to see at the same time? What would the waking up early in the morning be without me knowing you're on the other side of the screen, providing a good entertainment with your awkward camp songs?

We're a pair, you know? We're half of the both apple, you and me. You're the super sophisticated phone while I am the leather case that comes along as protection. I'm Harry and you're Hermione; the books wouldn't be the same without our friendship. You're the vanilla half that is making me sick, but is a total eye delight to whomever get to look at it. I'm the pages of your novel while you come as those hard, super fancy covers that make the book more expensive than a bandage.
We're a pair. We'd look odd apart and the world would probably be a better place, but even so, I don't want to give peace a chance if it means I have to let go of your hand.
We're a pair. So let me put my SuperKat outfit just for you and prove you that I've got super powers, alright?
We're a pair. So let me be the superhero this time and save you from those deep water you pulled me out so many times before. It's my turn to act all brave, ok? 'Cause I even took extra swimming classes just for you...
We're a pair, my darling, so even if the whole world turns against you, I'd still stick around to hold your hand and beg for some mega tickling attacks.
We're a pair, Mister-I-don't-really-give-a-fuck, and even when the sky will be on fire, I'll be your forever awkward stalker.
So, chin up, alright?
'Cause, dude,

Prince Charming

A girl wait for one thing her whole life: Prince Charming to come and sweep them off their feet and hop them on the back on their white horse/Ferarri. So, she's currently look for...

A man strong as ten, a man to fight wind and rain, a man to come as shelter when all the others have proved to be just plastic and fake.
A man who would hold her hand 'cause kissing in the street at the first date is a no-no, even if she wishes for it with her whole body.
A man who would buy her flowers every single day until she gets an allergy, 'cause that's the trend she saw in movies: good guys buy flowers, bad boys steal the virginity.
A man that wouldn't tease her for talking gibberish when excited or when sleepy, a man that wouldn't laugh at her messed hair style and forever hold her hands for the world to see how lucky she is.
A man with a kind heart and a wide opened wallet, ready to buy her ice-cream in the middle of the night and whatnot since she's the princess of his life and she deserves the best or whatever her hearts wishes for.
A man that would totally ditch his friends and his beer and go running to her side every time the phone rings, just because she saw an itsy-bitsy tiny spider in the bathroom while she was taking a poop.
A man that would totally look like David Beckham whenever he'd take off his shirt (wearing t-shirts is too mainstream for her) and still blush, be unconvinced that he's a complete hunk.

A man that would build her the dream house and never make her lift a finger, a man that would cook, clean, wash dishes, take the dog for a walk, take in all her crap, listen to her favourite band, paint her nails, brush her hair, buy her tampons, making sure he always put the toilet seat down after peeing 'cause the princess might get hurt otherwise, always compliment her over her fashion sense, accept pink stuff around just because it's her favourite colour.

etc.

Well, let me tell you something, princess: you're probably going to wait forever and a day and totally miss out the perfect guy!

I would totally love a guy who would kiss me during the first date and make me feel butterflies even though I'd probably get mad/ turn bright red/ throw a tantrum/ make a scene or kiss him back.

I wouldn't want a guy to bring me flowers every single fucking day because I'd probably get sick of them and my reaction will slowly grow to be just "Meh, flowers..." instead of "You brought me flowers! How sweet of you!".

I'd appreciate a good contradicting-argument with him and would totally fall even more for him if he'd be a complete tease, instead of sugar coating everything I do and holding my hand even when I'm sweaty and feel like he shouldn't touch me.

A normal guy would be the best, to know me, to know when to ignore me, to know when to give me space. A normal guy that would buy me presents just for my birthday, 'cause we both know money don't grow on trees. A man with a golden heart hid underneath a bad boy's teasing.

I'd love a cry-baby, 'cause I'd know it's because he's not iron-made and just humanly giving in to the pressure. 

I'd love a total goof-ball, 'cause he'd know how to make me laugh when it's raining outside and I didn't brought an umbrella.

And above anything, I'd appreciate a guy that would be the totally opposite from me and yet still echo a tiny bit of me when he's asleep, a guy that's himself in everything he does and says, a guy that has his moments of silence and is a complete bully when I talk gibberish because I just saw my favourite band live, a man that would make me argue with him over putting down the toilet seat because it's the small things that really matter, a man that would be so bad with pastel colours that we'd have to call our parents over to help us paint the walls, a man that would hate pink just as much as I do, a man that would insist on taking the dog out together because he'd get bored, a man that would know how to say "I'm in love with you." when the right time comes...

I don't look for the perfect man or anything like Prince Charming 'cause I know that when the right person will appear, I'd be in love with every single flaw he has, as well as appreciate that's he's just... there, next to me, holding my hand.

So, princess, how about my Prince Charming type? Doesn't he sound more real than yours?

Three 'Dudettes': To Infinity and Beyond!

"Yeah."

"Dudette, where the fuck are you?!"

"Sleeping... what do you want at this hour?!"

"At this hour?! It's freakin' 2pm! Why are you sleeping at this hour?"

"Speak fast 'cause I might fall asleep."

"Right... oh, oh! We should meet tomorrow like we usually do. We go get the donuts and the pretzels without rushing since the teacher ain't coming for first class."

"Oh, fine. One day I can sleep like a normal person without waking up with the sunrise and that's when you're in mood for morning walks. Fine, I'll be there. Meet you at 6:30 in the bus station..."

Hey, Dudette!

So, September's here, huh? Already, huh? And to think that this time last year we were crying for more holidays days 'cause summer seemed to have flown by us without much happening. And school would start and no more sleeping till late, no more meetings at work, no more planning pick up lines for the hunks we were so sure we'd meet as soon as we'd go back to 'prison'.

And look at us now, all grown up, preparing for uni and we don't even know what awaits for us ahead. Or at least, I don't LOL.

So, September, huh? It's strange knowing that school starts on the 16th and we won't be there to buy flowers and just, you know, be excited for what we'll hate an entire year. I never thought I'd say this, but I wish we could go back to being simple high schooler for just one more day... or a year if you think that I'm feeling really down right now because of uni housing... The song from 'Liceenii' wasn't so wrong after all? But who would have thought that when everything was building up hatefully in front of me?

Anyway, thanks, dudette! For what you ask? Well, for being my friend, my desk mate, for taking my bullshit and throwing rock at me now and then, for listening to my k-spazz, for letting me copy your French homework, for sharing your food with me, for sharing your water with me, for letting me doodle your copybooks, for letting me drag you to the Copy Center just because well, I was kind of crushing on the guy there? 

Hehehehe. 

Yeah, big thanks for being my best friend, dudette! 

Let's stay best friends even when we'll have families on our own and let's make our kids hand out even if they hate it, just because we remember how evil we used to be in high school.

And let's remember that we were plain stupid and falling on corridors, that we used to stalk guys and hate teachers. Let's make our children be super geniuses and hide them just how dorky we were together when we'd spill nonsense to everyone who had ears to hear us out.

Let's just be awesome in the future as well!

Ain't this awkward, hehehe...

***

"Let's meet for a pizza."

"Alright?"

"My cousin is coming as well with a friend. Behave."

"You know I hate your cousin. I hate him to the guts! We almost fist fought last time we met. Do you want blood to be spilled?! What friend are you?!"

"He'll behave. You behave as well!"

"I can't promise you anything if he steps on my tail though..."

"Behaaaave~~~"

Hey there, Dudette?

If we weren't that close this past year, I'm blaming on your stupid phone and stupid phone network, you know? Why didn't you bought a prepay? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Nevermind that now.

So, you and I are going away in the pretty much same direction, huh? Aren't you scared at all? 'Cause I'm shitting my pants every time I think about sharing my room with two other persons... I mean, you know I hate people and that people hate me because I'm loud and obnoxious, I always find something to brag about, I get easily pissed off and am a total bipolar persons.

Why can't you be one of my roommates?! 'Cause you'd definitely practice some karate moves on me or something like that and send me to sleep instantly. Or maybe you could bribe me with your grandma's cookies (say thanks from me, by the way)... I wish you could come with me, dear.

Yeah, dear, when will we meet? How? Hope you'll come home in October 'cause I'm turning 19 unlike other elders around here...

Anyhow, thanks, dudette!

For what?

Well, I wrote all that in the year book, but once again, thanks for putting up with the difficult me all this time. And thanks for always being kind even when I would annoy the crap out of you and for taking care of me, for hugging me when you know I hate physical approach, for being disgustingly sweet, for learning all the curses from us, for not minding me being evil around you, for taking my side or for kicking my sides from time to time. Grazie for all of that and for all the others you know and won't be mentioned here!

You're awesome! And stay like that, alright?

And thanks for reading my stories and giving me awesome feedback, making me fangirl over you! Thanks for being like that - true to yourself no matter what.

So, let's meet over year with the other dudette and our kids and make them take crap from us without them knowing how crazy and incredible funny/stupid we used to be as a trio. Let's make them suffer and be brilliant while we were just average, but still happy. Let's make them be best friends like we are. I promise to marry my boy with your daughter if that matters LOL I'll marry my girl with the other dudette's boy, 'cause a if she was to be a man, I swear to you she would have been something to stick to like glue LOL

So, bye but not forever, ok?

Let's meet often and keep in touch in the future as well, no matter where we'll be (promise to haunt you two if I die before time ^.~)

***

'Cause we were that super trio that managed to scare the 'Be my ghost.'...