Thursday 1 February 2018


i feel like i should sleep
a long, long sleep
i feel like i should lay
down beneath the sea
buried all under sand

i feel like i should mute
my thoughts, my heart
leave the static sound
to buzz on
i feel i should lay low
lower and lower
till lava engulfs me whole

i feel i shouldn't laugh
but you're staring like that...
i feel like i should move
as if possessed, a scarecrow,
a controlled puppet, i...
i feel I should flap my wings
and go

i feel i should be blue
not with sorrow, but as in the colour
i feel like i should be white
not as in the colour, but with sorrow

i feel i should be alone
but when the darkness comes, i wish
i weren't, that i won't and never will be
truly alone

i feel i should be covered in thorns
and pick at them with laughing eyes
i feel i should have the right
to curse out loud
this damned heart!

i feel i should feel you
crawling on my skin, under it,
all over my bones,
inside my dna
and drag yourself out
through my pursed lips

i feel i should let myself move
into yet another flight
which i yet postpone so eagerly
to meet a masochist ending...

i feel i should do something
yet idly i'm waiting
a continuous falling
while the entire universe is turning
spinning, growing
i shrink,
a spec of dying light

i feel i should let this ocean
swallow me whole
flood this body
flood this mind
till i am full
of you

and yet i'm staring at the moon.

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