I don't want to be lonely anymore

I am a shy person that doesn't have a lot of friends because 1- I don't know how to deal with other people's feelings and 2- I am myself a difficult person to start with, so it takes a lot of time to come to like me for real. so I often walk alone. But being all alone doesn't mean I like being alone. Loneliness is like a sickness - no one wants to have it and yet, we are the ones that transmit it to other people around us.

Why do we push people away? 

Why can't we have enough patience?

Why do we throw away the ones who want to stick around?

Why can't we give a chance to those who are willing to approach enough?

As a person who's lonely most of the times, I will tell you that it's not nice to be one against so many groups of friends. It's like the people around you are a colourful mass that zooms pass you, while you're sulking in shades of gray, in slow-motion. And you want to catch up with all of them, hold someone's hand and go with the flow, but everyone seems just too damn busy to even look at you. So you give up: on people, on colours, on laughter, on wishing for tomorrow, on trying to approach anyone. It's like calling someone while you're mute, trying to move when you're nothing but numb... it's torturing you from the inside.

And then they ask you why haven't you said anything... They're funny - these people.

Here I am, telling you "I don't want to be lonely anymore.". But how many will hear and how many will actually listen?

None.

Kat - The Reviewer's Introduction

Ok, so, who are you after all? 
I'm Kat, the possessor of this 'wonderful blog', a writer, dreamer, singer in bathroom, kid when it comes to candies, an incurable romantic during the night and lately, a very dedicated reviewer.
Oh, and a student! Let's not forget I'm still depending on my teachers. 선생님,잘 부탁합니다!~~

What do you review? 
Dramas. Korean dramas I really enjoy. Oh, and music albums. Of course, Korean albums.

Why only Korean dramas and music?Do we want to go there? Do we really want to get down to that topic? :))
Well, keeping the long story short, I am a k-addict, meaning I heave a sweet tooth for Korean culture, which, in this case, implies watching dramas and listening to Korean music apart from learning the language (which I do, really^^). I mostly review dramas that have a great impact on me and which make me want to start a debate over their topic, or which have characters that make me go all gaga over them :)) You know the feeling, right?

What have you reviewed till now?
In matter of music, I remember talking about Beast's last album (How to Love), SHINee's last 2 albums (Misconceptions of You & Misconceptions of Me) and G-Dragon's 'Coup D'Etat', about which I still wonder where did I get the courage to review it taking that YG artists are so popular (the review for this GD's album is on this blog if you're curious on what I had to say about it).
As for dramas, I can only talk about 'Empress Ki' as an almost reviewed-by-episode drama I watched. It started as a game, to vent my frustrations on the characters, but in the end it was more than that and I discovered I actually enjoyed writing about it in an informal way, challenging people to take part in the conversation since it was all made as statuses on my FB profile :)

Any plans to review any of the airing dramas?
To be honest, I wasn't going to watch any of those or review them. But then I started watching 'Doctor Stranger' and everything went to hell! *-* I mean, I just couldn't stop myself from fan-girling over the characters and over the plot that swept me off my feet! Just WOW! I highly recommend it to all drama lovers out there!

How do you write your reviews? Any plans you're following?
Are my reviews recaps of episodes? Well, kind of, sort of, but no. I write them to cool my head and to vent my feelings on what's happening in an episode. And since I don't assume everyone saw the episode, I try not to give spoilers on major events and mostly pick on feelings and the expressiveness of the actors and how well they make their characters come to life. So, no plans to follow, I just write whatever comes into my mind.

Lastly, do you take requests?
For music albums, I am, why not? I pretty much listen to anything that means k-pop, so yeah, feel free to ask for a review if you have on in mind^^
When it comes to dramas... well, the thing is that I'm picky when it comes to stories and actors, so it's usually hard. But if it's a good drama, without any noona-dongsaeng romantic relationships, yeah, sure, I'll give it a try!

So, this was me aka Kat and an introduction on me as a reviewer - a very briefly one :D Hope you'll enjoy my reviews and leave feedback!
Thank you!

Echo

I look back and realize we cut all ties - no words were said, we just called it one day and that's how it remained till now. And it wasn't a month or a year we left behind, but more than five years we left behind just like that, becoming strangers with just a snap of fingers.

I said some things, I said a lot of stuff which I regret now. But how should I say that I was just a hurt kid, who felt left behind and abandoned all of a sudden? How should I stop you now on street and tell you, ask for an explanation? I know I have no excuse for the way I cut the ties, but the wound you gave me - I'm still bearing it's mark like a tattoo I still cannot erase...

Call me melancholic, but how can I forget all those summers spent laughing in the sun, all those warm nights wasted on boys talks and singing alongside nation's most loved artist of the moment? They're deeply engraved in my heart, they make me compare every happy moment to what I had back then, wandering, if that was happiness, what am I feeling now?

We used to be there for each other - what happened? I cannot wonder if it wasn't my fault, my hypersensitivity, my flaws that broke everything... I admit it now: I felt betrayed, I felt abandoned, 'cause weren't you supposed to stand by my side no matter what, till the end of time? Wasn't that what we pictured, what we imagined, what we wished for us? And while I standing still, you moved, one step at a time, further and further away from my reach.

You know I am melancholic by nature and cannot stop but miss the past, when we were kids and everything used to be so simple to say and show. Now, I can't even say what I bear in mind and heart, 'cause I fear of sounding ridiculous or extremely cheesy or being misunderstood once again. So I'll put it down here and preserve everything in words that maybe one day - one day I'll be able to show them to you with a sincere smile, without fearing of your reaction.

I'm sorry and I miss you.

I chose to be your friend with my heart and took a liking in you with all my heart. There was no play-pretend in my friendship, no hidden reasons, no false pretenses. My smiles were sincere, my awkward supportive words were true, my tears were there even though you couldn't see them when everything turned to dust. I valued your friendship more than anything else. I trusted you enough to tell you all my secrets and thoughts and genuinely imagined the day we'd be old and gray-haired and sit in chairs under summery sun, reminiscing about our childhood... I guess now everything died.

I wanted you to know - my sincerity, everything, I held you on the highest pedestal in my heart and I don't regret ever having to meet you despite my present awkwardness.

Thank you, dear friend, for giving me such great memories.

I'm sorry, dear friend, that we became strangers like that.

And I'm missing you, dear friend.

Just wanted you to know that even now, the days we spent together back then echo back from time to time...