Saturday 1 March 2014

Can you come back home?

I woke up with a whirlpool of dreams spinning inside my head. Bittersweet samples of what reality could have done to me, little threats from a yet unknown future, seeks into other dimensions and just imaginary situations I put myself in because I can't stay still even in my sleep.
And as I laid there in my warm bed of dreams that were getting cold, slowly fading away, I felt my heart sinking into the ink of loneliness, preparing to write yet another page of signs and symbols I could not recognize.
In a room full of sleeping people, I was lonely.
In a room full of dreams chasing one another, I was laying stripped of my personality, involuntary staring at the darkness that was crushing me, somehow thankful that there was no one to see my pitiful tears. For I was pitiful and scared, lonely and wounded, not understanding the heaviness I was carrying on my shoulders.
We are all born alone into this world and we die alone. It's a fact. But I was born incomplete, missing something, a piece, a fragment, a shard of soul... something. And looking back now, I realize I was always dysfunctional one way or another, a puzzle with a missing piece, a painting without name.
My soul is too old for my body and I can feel its weight inside my chest. I need that missing piece. I need it to make it stop hurting so much, I need it to light up my darkness and offer me comfort. I need to find it and never let it go! But where to look for it? Should I post an ad "Looking for my missing piece. Please contact me ASAP!"? Or maybe I should start calling it in the middle of the street, waste all of my money of trips so I can call for it from different countries, just in case it got lost abroad? Or put a board around my neck and travel around the world?
What should I do?
I want to be complete when I die so that in the next life, in another world and dimension I can be full of colours and not the dull grey I am right now. I need my colours. I need my mind to find peace, my soul to be stitched up and my heart comforted.
But in this search of mine, I think we've been thrown too far away from each other - me and my missing piece. We're being kept hidden from one another, torn apart by daily life circumstances.
Or we're simply blind...
So, I'm going to begin my search now. This year. This month. This week. Today. Right now. And now matter where you are, I will find you and I will make us one - one soul, one being, one heart. But if you're reading this, if you randomly came across this message in a bottle, if you're feeling like something has been missing from you your entire life and want to be complete once again, can you come back home?

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