Thursday 11 December 2014


In a parallel universe, Life is a bitch in the most literal possible way. There she is, sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, her high heels digging holes in the hearts of irresponsible or just easy to trick with cheap sex men. Her smile is flattering and mocking at the same time, drawing holes where you expect less, attracting innocence in traps of bareness and promises of STDs. And like the hooker she is, she doesn't care about your looks or age - she'll take you anyway as look as you pay her thick in more than just money and leave your life in her guard.

In a parallel universe, Life is taking your hand and guiding it to her rotten sex, hoping that you'd feel her core, still raw and untouched, whispering that everything has its purpose and that you meeting her was meant to be, written by some old, crippled man who likes to fuck around in terms we cannot comprehend.

In a parallel universe, Life is obnoxiously present in your everyday life. She's there with you during your coffee break, there when you buy your pack of cigarettes to smoke your worries away, there when you lie to your lover, there when you're just lying down on your bed, staring at the ceiling above and wondering what the fuck you're gonna do about those itching spots on your sex. Oh, she's there!

In this universe, Life's just another word for 'bitch'. She's the mother of all (of us) bastards she left behind to crawl on four and learn to eat shit from the age of two. And then, when we finally get on two and learn that poo-poo is a no-no and we pass through that period when everything is simply fun and the worse thing that could happen would be to lose one of your friends, she comes back and kicks you in the ass and you fall and break your hand or a leg or a finger or your mind gets shattered. That's the first encounter. Then comes adolescence and everything is pretty much messed up - from the pimple on your forehead, to the crush that just despises you to no end, to the bad grades and parents that have forgot how it's like to have all those hormones screaming inside your cage of growing bone(r)s. That's when Life likes to make her entrance in a big way! Soon you find yourself in college with no plans for the future, with no money in your pocket, with long nights wasted on shows, with big disappointments coming in like wrecking balls and putting down all those nice and pretty, porcelain-like dreams you've reared till Life decided you deserve to be fucked in your ass... or head... or wherever it hurts the most!

In this universe, Life is just a stuck-up bitch that friend-zoned everyone and that developed a certain addiction to bully the weak. From the frail looking boy, to the girl with geek glasses; from that family with a lot of kids that have just lost their mom (it's only NORMAL that they should lose their house as well, don't you think so?!), to that nice and super-friendly middle-aged couple who have to deal with shit at their age (I mean, it's only normal that on top of all the SHIT Life gave them all of a sudden, they have to deal with the cherry on top as well, right?!).

And to all those "philosophers" who say "Oh, you should work harder!", "It's you, not life at fault for your failures!", "You should try harder!" - oh well, all you fuckers, why don't you trade places with me and go through dealing with shit when even swimming against the currents of a forming tsunami is easier than waking up and realizing that your life is not just a bad, fucking dream?!

Listen up, You up there, the one they call God: why do I have to torment myself with the same Death just to face Resurrection once again?! 

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