Sunday 31 August 2014

The letter

It's so stuffy inside here that I can no longer breathe and I start looking for a way out. It never ended, did it? No matter how much I tried to forget, no matter if I denied my memories - nothing really helped, did it? No, it did nothing but pick on my scars and transform me into the walking dead that I am, a scarred monster that's afraid of every shadow around, including my own reflection in the old mirror.
I will not hate again. I will not let those black flames consume my soul, eat my vibes and take away my smiles. I will not hate again and let you stay on my mind any longer. I will not hate again. You won't be the subject of my negative idolization and come to life in my dreams, haunting my life even when you're not around.
I will not hate you. I don't want to. It's not pleasant and it's not pretty. Instead, I will fold your memory and put it in this tiny box that I will lock inside one of the oldest drawers of my mind - the drawer where I stock unimportant events. And I will forget all about your existence. From the moment I lock your tiny, almost molecular box, you will cease to exist for me. No, I will not hate you - instead, I will deny you any rights of living inside my head. 
I pledge to smile even when meetings occur and your presence reminds me of the things you greedily wanted for yourself even if they belonged to me. Now you've got them all and I'm pitiful while you're almighty. Hope you're happy. I am happy with losing to you... because you're nothing but another stranger.
It's funny that I've bid you goodbye so many times before and yet, I am still hurt by your petty insult. Yes, this is me, one of those few that are left on this dying Earth which know what being loyal to a friend means. So you get to laugh in the end. You get to laugh and be happy; why wouldn't you be? After all, you've stole enough from me: my innocent thoughts, my love for you, my first memory of loving someone else but my mother.  But it's alright. I'll lock them all in another tiny box and they'll be swallowed by yet another black hole. Like that which threw you into Oblivion...
I will not hate you. I'm trying very hard here, you see? To be better than you; a better human, a better person, a better me. I won't regret, I know that and it doesn't hurt either. I should have chase you out eons ago. Instead, I let you grow inside of me like a poisonous maggot.
I will not hate you. I am sincerely trying to keep my promise to myself. I don't want to lead my life through one sole thought. So, I will depose of you tonight, right now.
Let's never meet again, huh? Let's never again pretend to have known each other and play a charade for the ones around us, ok? Let's never remember summers and late nights, laughter and letters. Let's just become real strangers and turn heads the other way when we see each other, ok?
For from now on, the only moment I want to hear of you again is that when I'm told of your funeral.

Goodbye, "friend", let's do well in staying the strangers we've become, 
Yours sincerely,
The owner of your tiny box.

P.S. Witchcraft.

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