end of spring

I take a step back and stare at you

you who used to be like my skin

covering my body

so close

now so alien

I take a step back and stare at you

your promises ringing

all those small and quiet words

flowing...

all lies

I take a step and stare at you

you who seem to have forgotten

of me

I guess we're seasonal

and like flowers do,

bound to wither...

now that spring is almost gone

you too have left me

uprooted 

so I take a step back and look at you

one last time

friend...

bathroom floor [incomplete]

bathroom floor 

at 1am

staring into the darkness

which reaches out from the sink

bathroom floor

at 1am

reaching for the drain plug

from the tub

bathroom floor

at 1am

watching the sparks

going out of me

bathroom floor

at 1am

wondering what good

to have them all starting fires

bathroom floor 

at 1am

a shell on the shelf

whispers of lost oceans,

liquids quickly gulped down

just last week

bathroom floor

at 1am

the walls crumbling down

stone after stone

grasping

at the emptiness ahead

before turning 

into dust

bathroom floor

at 1am

who am I ?

what have I done

to put out the fire?

bathroom floor

at 1am

maybe I should just get up

...

type of wrong

center of me burns

begging for water

a hurricane to wash over

destroy and resurrect

submerge this fire

let if sizzle

like the sun does

at dusk

and when it's drowned

when it stops breathing

take your hands

and let it go

it goes and goes and goes

falling liquidly

drowning 

while the universe reverses

and planets, stars

they all align

and it floats through space

the big blue

they said it's darkness

that shines

but they've never seen

so much light

and as it travels

submerged

it loses track

of all that matters

there's the fire

sparkling

twisting

underwater

take my fire

and kill it, I asked.

don't give it wilderness

for it expands

consuming me.

in my veins

what does it feel like to love you - have your fingertips brushing against my skin: ocean of music notes washing away all sound

what does it feel like to have you staring from within the darkness: strip me down of this crushing fear and never be able to look away

what does it feel like to breathe you in and breathe you out: intoxicate my soul with you

and you whirl, whirl your way down into me

poisonous smoke

illusion of a promised redemption

I walk to you as if you're open doors of the church

when you're nothing but a curtain dancing in the wind

masking darkness

I walk to you stripped of all of me,

holding onto my soul

and willingly giving it away while singing 'hallelujah'

my soul from my hand into yours

from my chest into yours

as you gulp it down as if holy water

and as I am emptied of myself

you pour yourself into me, 

wickedly 

your tongue burns - thousands whips

perversely scribbling onto me

an earthly name

biting teeth battle for my flesh

my blood drop by drop

blossoms onto my skin

I use daggers

and carve out constellations

my entire universe

you run deeper, faster

than I can chase

through my veins

poison

inside my veins

I cannot scratch you out

come out, undone

I too break 

into shadows

black hole

of space continuum

swallows me

a shell.